February 26, 2010

Pushing back the frontiers of the National Socialist People’s Party….

Globaloney  "The fall of the Soviet Union deprived us of the biggest example of how socialism works. We need laboratories of failure to demonstrate what socialism is like. All we have now is Cuba, Venezuela, North Korea, the U.S. Post Office, and state motor-vehicle departments

Former Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin was a VIP guest at the Daytona 500 festivities. Which seems an odd fit, considering NASCAR's bread-and-butter is steering to the left

Remember the “Fifth Column” in WW2.  We now have another “Fifth Column” of useful idiots.

Attorney General Eric Holder says nine Obama appointees in the Justice Department have represented or advocated for terrorist detainees before joining the Justice Department. And even more - President Obama's new Muslim envoy Rashad Hussain admitted Friday to once defending a man who later pleaded guilty to conspiring to aid a terrorist group

And, about Global Warming…….  "I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that ... this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow." - Barack Obama, June 3, 2008  ... or stopped even. The prophecy of the One has been fulfilled!!!!     "Scientists have been forced to withdraw a study on projected sea level rise due to global warming after finding mistakes that undermined the findings."


Merry Mary’s Meticulous Murmurings……………

Canadian Curling Team Admits It's Just Ice Bowling

Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by committee meetings

What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?"

The noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog; it feeds the hand that bites it

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


Serenity Sarah’s Surreptitious Sayings…………..

February is... International Twit Award Month

This is Nostalgia Week   [and I miss it already]

February 28 is. . . Public Sleeping Day

February 29 is. . . National Surf and Turf Day

March 1 is . . National Pig Day

March 1 is . . Peanut Butter Lover's Day

March 2 is . . Namesake Day

March 2 is . . Old Stuff Day 

March 3 is . . I Want You To Be Happy Day

March 3 is . . What If Cats and Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs Day

March 3 is . . Peach Blossom Day

March 3 is . . National Anthem Day

March 4 is . . Hug a GI Day  [This should be every day!]

March 4 is . . International Pancake Day

March 4 is . . Unique Names Day

March 5 is . . Hemlock Day

March 5 is . . Learn What Your Name Means Day

March 5 is . . Saint Piran's Day    [Who dat?]

March 5 is . . Multiple Personalities Day   [may you both be happy]

March 6 is . . National Frozen Food Day

While the above are funny, there is another day to remember this week…………… February 28 1993

This is the day that President Clinton’s decision to kill all of the remaining men, women and CHILDREN at Waco.  A shameful day that Clinton MUST answer for.


Happy Hilda’s Hilarious Headlines………………..

AFTER CONFESSION, BUS TOLD TO SAY TEN HAIL MARYS AND GET AN OIL CHANGE:

  "Driver Hit by Catholic School Bus: 'All I Thought Was Holy   (Expletive)'" -  Northwest Florida Daily News headline

We Blame Global Warming: "Snowballing Problems Hurting Vancouver Games" - Agence France-Presse

Bee All That You Can Bee: "Robots and Bees to Beat the Taliban" - Sunday Times (London)

Questions Nobody Is Asking: "Is Obama Too Thoughtful?" - TheDailyBeast.com

It's Always in the Last Place You Look: "Flaws Found in Recovery Act Spending Records" - ExecutiveGov.com

Redundant Story of the Day: "Al Gore Slams Exxon's 'Lies' as Advocates Seek to Regain Momentum" --Hill Web site


A Headline Morey Bund would like to see…………….

Adult Film Actress Objects to TSA Full-Body Scanners as "Degrading Invasion of Privacy"


Punctual Paul’s Perilous Puns…………………….

A man started a new job. At first he commuted alone, but soon decided to drive in with his colleagues. Within a week, though, his wrists began to hurt severely. Oddly, the pain only occurred while they were driving through a tunnel. Finally, he saw a doctor.  His problem was diagnosed as carpool tunnel syndrome!

The judge's leg joint pain put him in a perennial bad mood, which earned him a mildly disparaging nickname. When he finally retired and was replaced, his successor, as luck would have it, also had a painful leg joint. "Wouldn't you know it," groused one local attorney to another. "A fellow knee 'Mr. Meaner'

The tea bag had broken but the hostess had failed to notice and brought me the hot cup with many loose tea particles swirling around on the surface. I didn't want to drink it but was too polite to say anything. I was forced to restrain myself


“Sometimes” Suzy’s Strident Studies…………..

Senile ....  When I was your age, we couldn't ask these questions.

Subjective .... It's all in how you look at the question.

Suspicious .... Why are you asking me all these questions?

Temperamental .... What the heck do you want to know that for???

Verbose __ I'm glad you asked me that question because I have done extensive research into that very issue and am probably the most qualified person you could find to give you an accurate answer to your inquiry.


Gentleman Jim’s Generic Gems……………

Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

Kill all exclamation points!!!!

Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

Understatement is probably not the best way to propose earth shattering ideas.

Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.


Lucky Larry’s Liturgical Leavings…………………..

I try to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

A hundred men may make an encampment, but it takes a woman to make a home

Whenever buying a gift for a couple celebrating their 60th anniversary, buy them something they will use right away.

I told my teenage son to enjoy this part of his life, that he would never again feel so secure in his ignorance.

I know that you're nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you


That’s it for this week from your embedded community organizer, still snow plowing around the Woodbine Beltway, on my way to Absurdia, the principle city of The Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan.  Where our boy Governor, Martin O’Malley has 3 (three) full-time chefs on the payroll being supported by our taxes.  Guess his wife is also a terrible cook, as well as a questionable judge!


But, on the other hand……………….

 Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.


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