| The Cold Splash of Reality, With A Side of Sizzle |
Midtown Group: AA Group Leads Members Away from Traditions
When Kristen was 17 and drinking out of control, her psychologist referred her
to an Alcoholics Anonymous group that specialized in helping the youngest
drinkers. In the Midtown Group, members and outsiders agree, young people could
find new friends, constant fellowship, daily meetings, summer-long beach
parties, and a charismatic leader who would steer them through sobriety.
But according to more than a dozen young people who structured their lives
around the group, the unusual adaptation of AA that Michael Quinones created
from his home in Bethesda became a confusing blend of comfort and crisis. They
described a rigidly insular world of group homes and socializing, in which older
men had sex with teenage girls, ties to family and friends were severed or
strained, and the most vulnerable of alcoholics, some suffering from emotional
problems, were encouraged to stop taking prescribed medications.
Kristen, now 26, said that for eight years, she was "passed along" from one
middle-aged male leader of Midtown to another. She said her sponsor urged her to
have sex with Quinones -- widely known as Mike Q. -- as a way to solidify her
sobriety and spiritual revival. Kristen, who spoke on the condition that her
last name not be used in keeping with AA traditions, also recalled helping to
persuade other teenage girls to sleep with older men in the group.
"I pimped my sponsees out to sponsors," she said, referring to the AA members
who agree to watch over a fellow member's sobriety. "I encouraged them to sleep
with their sponsors because I really believed that this would help with their
sobriety."
Rianne McNair, who left Midtown in 2005 after three years in the group, said,
"Several of my friends had sex with Mike Q. One of my friends went to the beach
house, and her sponsor assigned her to Mike Q.'s bedroom. The younger girls
looked up to these guys; Mike is idolized, like, 'I got invited to Mike Q.'s
house for dinner tonight. Can you believe it?' "
Midtown, also known as the Q Group after its leader, has expanded steadily to
about 400 members since Quinones assumed leadership in the 1980s, but appears to
be reaching a turning point. Quinones, a 63-year-old real estate agent who grew
up in Baltimore and served in the Army in Vietnam, is fighting an advanced case
of prostate cancer, according to group members, friends and relatives. He did
not respond to repeated requests for comment.
In response to questions raised by some parents, therapists and churches where
Midtown held meetings, the group this spring issued a statement denying improper
acts. "We cannot be all things to all people . . . " the statement said. "We do
not condone underage sex. While we are not the arbiter of other people's sex
conduct, underage sex is illegal and our experience shows that it can endanger
your sobriety.
"We cannot tell you what to do with regard to taking medications such as
anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, etc. While we have no opinion of medication
in general, based on our personal experience, many members of the Midtown Group
do not sponsor people who take mood-altering medication."
Outside Quinones's house, young Midtown members who often hang out around the
front steps declined to talk to a reporter. A senior member of the group, who is
close to Quinones and who spoke on condition he not be named because of AA's
tradition of anonymity, said, "Anyone who has anything positive to say about the
group is going to respect AA's policy of dignified silence in the media."
Montgomery County police said they are looking into allegations of underage
sexual relations. But they said the women who have come forward have told of
relationships that took place when they were 16 or 17; Maryland law considers
women 15 and younger to be underage. Many of the allegations were aired in
Montgomery County District Court in a domestic relations civil suit involving a
member of the group.
"We interviewed 15 to 20 people, and they all said he's doing it. But it was
all, 'It wasn't me,' " said Montgomery police Sgt. Ron Collins of the
department's pedophile section. "Nobody's come forward with anything we could
charge him with. The girls can be 16 or 17, and it's legal."
Controlled by Leaders
Over eight decades, Alcoholics Anonymous, a pioneer in the support-group model
of treatment, has grown to attract about 2 million members in more than 100,000
groups.
Despite a stellar reputation and worldwide brand, it has never been more than a
set of bedrock traditions. It has no firm hierarchy, no official regulations,
and exercises no oversight of individual groups. Disgruntled former Midtown
members discovered this in recent months when they tried to get the central AA
office in New York to condemn Midtown's tactics and departures from the
traditions, including a highly unusual practice of assigning older men to
sponsor young women.
"The assumption since our founding was that groups that did not follow the
traditions and concepts would fall away," said a staff member at AA's General
Service Office, who spoke on condition of anonymity "because we are all
alcoholics, and that is our policy."
The main office does offer "strong suggestions" for how groups should operate,
including how to pair each member with a sponsor who shares confidences and
helps the member stay sober. AA recommends that "it's best if a man sponsors a
man and a woman sponsors a woman, so that there are not outside distractions,"
the staffer said.
In Midtown, Quinones and several friends, who are also longtime AA members, have
taken on leadership roles that go well beyond the typical part played by
organizers of meetings, according to local therapists, ministers and AA members.
AA tradition suggests that "our leaders are but trusted servants," the New York
staffer said. "They do not govern."
Quinones and other senior members have not only run two dozen weekly meetings
across the Washington region but also organized ski trips and summer beach
parties, helped young members find jobs at stores such as Nordstrom and the old
Hecht's, and encouraged young members to live together in group houses in
Gaithersburg, Rockville and Bethesda, members and ex-members said.
"It's like a prepackaged community," said David, 26, a former Midtown member who
initially adored the group but now is highly critical of it. "You're thinking,
okay, maybe I can stay sober for the rest of my life, but how do I have fun? I
went to a different group, and it was 50-year-old men who went bowling on
Tuesdays. That wasn't going to do it for me. At Midtown, everything
is there for you. Here are your women, here are your dances every weekend, ski
trip every March."
But some former members describe the Midtown life as overwhelmingly controlling.
McNair said she was pressured to pay $950 for a share in a three-bedroom summer
house in which 20 Midtown members slept, most of them on air mattresses on the
floor. Kristen described being pressed to pay $1,200 for a summer
house share in which she slept on the floor.
Some therapists who used to refer young people to Midtown and some pastors whose
churches have hosted Midtown meetings say they have heard of too many disturbing
practices to maintain a relationship with the group.
Ellen Dye, a clinical psychologist in Rockville, said two of her clients
"suffered significant harm as a result of their involvement with Mike Q. and his
followers." One young woman said she was assigned a boyfriend and encouraged to
go off her antidepressants and cut off contact with Dye, the psychologist said.
Without her medication, the woman became acutely suicidal and was hospitalized,
Dye said. When Midtown members learned that the woman was back on medication,
she was ostracized and "was considered to have relapsed," Dye said.
That young woman told The Washington Post that her sponsor in Midtown refused to
continue as her adviser if the woman kept taking prescription medications.
The sponsor also directed her to stop seeing a therapist " 'because you need one
clear voice -- your sponsor's,' " the woman said.
"These are very needy people -- they're young people who can be looking for a
parent figure," Dye said. "Mike Q. plays that role. Midtown is
doctrinaire and controlling. It's totally against the 'Big Book,' " the written
traditions that guide AA groups. Now, Dye said, she warns clients
and colleagues about Midtown and even has become reluctant to refer clients to
any AA group.
After hearing about sexual relationships inside Midtown, Clancy Imislund,
managing director of Midnight Mission, a Los Angeles nonprofit group that serves
the homeless, said he asked senior Midtown members about the allegations and
found that "there probably have been some excesses, but they have helped more
sober alcoholics in Washington than any other group by far."
Imislund, who speaks frequently to AA groups across the country, said he
concluded that if sexual relations between older men and young girls "ever did
take place, it's not taking place now. It had been an issue, but
wherever you have a lot of young, neurotic people, they're going to cling to
each other."
Although Imislund portrayed parents of young people in Midtown as "immensely
grateful that this group has managed to get their children sober when no one
else could," other parents said they were appalled to see the group draw
children away from their families.
Barred From Some Churches
Cathy McCleskey became alarmed after hearing her daughter and other young people
in Midtown talk about one practice after another that would not occur in most AA
groups: They described being told by Midtown's leaders to stop taking medication
prescribed by a psychiatrist, being permitted to visit family only in the
company of other Midtown members and regularly cleaning Mike Q.'s house, mowing
his lawn and doing his laundry. Her daughter had a male sponsor.
"On one hand, she was sober for nine months, and I was so glad that I thought,
whatever's happening with this group is fine by me," McCleskey said.
"But then, after about a year in Midtown, I got a call that she was in a mental
hospital." McCleskey said her daughter remained there for four
weeks, depressed and suicidal. The daughter is now out of Midtown
and faring well.
McCleskey said she tried to get AA's local coordinating body to look into
allegations against Midtown but was told that each group governs itself.
Parents and former members, armed with a recent Newsweek article on the control
Midtown exerts over young alcoholics, approached several area churches this
summer to ask them to bar the group from meeting at their facilities.
A meeting held on Sunday evenings for nearly two decades at the Church of the
Pilgrims near Dupont Circle left the church this year after ex-Midtown members
provided "detailed and credible allegations," said the Rev. Ashley Goff,
director of Christian education at the church. Midtown leaders told
pastors they were being criticized unfairly by "disgruntled people who couldn't
keep their act together," Goff recalled.
Even though some church members said Midtown had saved them from addiction,
church leaders concluded that "this group crossed boundaries in very strong
ways," Goff said. "Clearly, they were targeting young women who were in their
first rehab program -- the most vulnerable people."
Informed that the church was "about to make a decision about asking them to
leave," Goff said, "Midtown came to us and said, 'Oh, our group's gotten too
big, and we're going to leave.' "
Goff added: "Our fellowship hall is huge."
At St. Mark Presbyterian Church in Rockville -- the site of one of 20 or so
weekly Midtown meetings across the region -- the Rev. Roy W. Howard said that
after Midtown leaders refused "to give me an explanation of the allegations
against them, I decided to ask them not to meet" at the church anymore.
St. Mark still provides facilities for six of the hundreds of Washington area AA
groups not connected with Midtown.
And at St. Patrick's Episcopal Church in Northwest Washington, the Rev.
Elizabeth S. McWhorter told congregants in May that although the allegations
against Midtown "would have been difficult to prove or disprove," the group
"will not be returning to St. Patrick's."
But at United Church of Christ in Bethesda, the Rev. Allison Smith said she
concluded that "there was really no bite behind the charges," so "we've decided
not to ask them to leave." After meeting with Midtown leaders, Smith
said that "maybe there were some incidents of an older male taking advantage of
a younger woman who was in recovery, and that's terrible. But was it a
systemic policy? We really haven't found anything to back up those charges at
the group that meets here."
When Kristen left Midtown, she was utterly alone. "Everyone in my
cellphone was Midtown," she said. "I was 24, and I knew literally nobody.
I had cut off my ties with my family at the direction of my sponsor."
"Eight years of my life was wasted," Kristen said.
©Washington Post, By Marc Fisher July 22,
2007
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