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MEMORIAL SERVICES for BILL WILSON |
DR. NORRIS' TALK
NEW YORK, N. Y. FEB 14TH, 1971
Our beloved Bill is dead. Even as I stand before you and say the words, I cannot
really believe that it is true. In my heart I choose to believe that Bill is
here with us at this very moment. And I somehow can almost hear him saying in
that half-amused, half embarrassed way of his, "Oh come on now Jack, do you
really think all this fuss is necessary?"
Two weeks ago, at a meeting of your Board of Trustees, shortly after Bill's
passing, there was a rather lively discussion about a matter involving the whole
fellowship. When it had reached a certain level of intensity, I found myself
waiting to hear Bill speak up, as he so often did and say those few words that
would put everything in perspective. But he didn't speak. And it was then that I
realized way down deep that we would never hear his voice again...that we could
no longer count on the constant presence of his wisdom and strength. We could
never again say as we had said so many times before, "Bill, what do you think?"
And I at least, have not yet come to accept this completely.
Bill was no saint. He was an alcoholic and a man of stubborn will and purpose.
How else could he have lived through the years of frustration, failure, and
discouragement while the steps, the traditions, and the conference were being
hammered out on the anvil of hard experience with the first few groups? That he
had the self-honesty, the clarity of vision to see the vital necessity for the
Third Step, and turning one's life and will over to a Higher Power is just one
part of our great good fortune that Bill lived. I have seen Bill's pride and I
have seen his humility. And I have been present when people from far countries
have met him for the first time and started to cry. And all Bill - that shy
Vermonter - could do was stand there and look like he wanted to run from the
room. No, Bill was no saint, although many of us wanted to make him into one.
Knowing this, he was insistent that legends about him be kept to a minimum -
that accurate records be kept so that future generations would know him as a
man. He was a very human person -- to me an exceptionally human person.
Bill's constant concern during almost all of the years that I knew him was that
Alcoholics Anonymous should always be available for the suffering
alcoholic--that the mistakes that led to the fading of previous movements to
help alcoholics should be avoided. To me one measure of his greatness is the
clarity of his vision of the future in his determination to let go of us long
before we were willing to let go of him.
Bill was a good sponsor, - the wise old timer determined to relinquish the role
of founder because he knew that A.A. must, as he would say, come of age and take
complete responsibility for itself. He had an abiding faith that our Fellowship
not only could, but should run without him. Repeatedly, during the last few
years, he has said in General Service Conference sessions "We have nothing to
fear." Bill believed that the wisdom of A.A. came out of church basements and
not from the pulpit; that it was directed from the groups to the Trustees rather
than the other way around. He sometimes felt, though, when the Conference
disagreed with him as it sometimes did, that its conscience needed to be better
informed, but it was this way that we really shared experience and developed
strength and confidence that the answers would work out.
Bill knew that it was not one voice that should be heard, but many thousands of
voices. And it was his gift that he was able to listen to them all, then, out of
the noise and confusion discern the group conscience. Then he would put it all
together, the tension of argument would fade, and everyone would realize that
his answer was right. What Bill's death means to me now is, that all of us--all
of us: you, the delegates, the Trustees--will have to listen much more carefully
than we once did in order to make out the voice of the group conscience.
And I know that this is possible. Bill has trained us for it beginning in St.
Louis in 1955. For this was Bill's vision -- to create a channel of
communication within the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous that would make it
possible for everyone to be hear: from the individual through the group, to the
delegates and to the Trustees, so that A.A. will always be here to extend a hand
to the drunk who is at this very moment crying out in the darkness of his night
as he reaches for help.
In closing, I want to say that it has been an honor for me to have had this
opportunity to participate with you in giving thanks to God that Bill lived and
was given the wisdom and strength and courage to make the world a better place
for all of us. There are many more things I could say, but what can one say
finally of a man's goodness and greatness? How many ways can you take his
measure? I cannot do it or say it for any of you -- only for myself. He was the
greatest and wisest man I ever knew. Above everything, he was a man. And I
believe that he left his goodness and greatness and wisdom with us, for any of
us to take in what measure we can. May God grant us the wisdom and strength to
keep Alcoholics Anonymous alive, vital, attractive, unencumbered by the
egocentricities that can so easily spoil it.
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